var tags = new Array() tags[0] = "All's fair in love and war - what a contemptible lie"; tags[1] = "Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor? - Spock"; tags[2] = "Automatic simply means that you cannot repair it yourself"; tags[3]="Choose your friends carefully - Y. Arafat"; tags[4]="Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking"; tags[5]="Consorting with lower rank females, Captain? Q"; tags[6]="Counselor,do you know what he's feeling? - Yes,and he'd better stop!"; tags[7]="Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy"; tags[8]="Data, I thought you were dead! - No, Sir. I rebooted!"; tags[9]="Data, I want to meet her, not dissect her! - Wesley"; tags[10]="Don't torture yourself, Gomez... that's my job - Morticia"; tags[11]="Honey! Did you miss me today? - With every shot!"; tags[12]="If I were human, I believe my response would be 'Go to hell'-Spock"; tags[13]="Live long and suffer - Ancient Vulcan curse"; tags[14]="No woman is worth dying for. Killing for, but not dying for - Mickey D."; tags[15]="Our normal routine is the unexpected sir! -Riker to JLP"; tags[16]="Press to test Release to detonate"; tags[17]="Rodents of Unusual Size? Gotta be my neighbors!"; tags[18]="Treat her like a lady, and she'll always bring you home..."; tags[19]="Trust is earned, not GIVEN away! - Worf"; tags[20]="User is a four letter word"; tags[21]="Wes, you cheated! - No, I improvised"; tags[22]="What did you do to the computer, Monkey-Man? - Zaphod"; tags[23]="When one is in a penalty box, tears are permitted Picard"; tags[24]="#@$ffwe99fjaljk ... Hey! Get the cat off the keyboard!"; tags[25]="#define ROSE any_other_name"; tags[26]="$$$.$$ not found: A)bort, R)efinance, B)ankruptcy?"; tags[27]="( Space for rent....CHEAP! )"; tags[28]="(((((YOU)))))((((ARE))))(((((FEELING)))))(((((SLEEPY)))))"; tags[29]="-=[ Truth Through Superior Firepower ]=-"; tags[30]="...and they lived happily ever after"; tags[31]="...going where no clusters have gone before"; tags[32]="...though I could argue with you in my free time "; tags[33]="1 + 2 = 3 Therefore 4 + 5 = 6"; tags[34]="100% compression using DEL *.*"; tags[35]="2*3*3*37 - The prime factorization of the beast"; tags[36]="2+2=5, for sufficiently large values of 2"; tags[37]="9 out of 10 men who try camels prefer women"; tags[38]="90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at"; tags[39]="95% of all statistics are nonsense"; tags[40]=":.::: ::..: ::.::. :..:: Tagline in Braille"; tags[41]="++ to continue..."; tags[42]=" Captain.. We are being hailed.."; tags[43]="?? Fatal Logic Error - Engage Brain and (R)etry"; tags[44]="A bird in hand is safer than one overhead"; tags[45]="A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken"; tags[46]="A blimp with an airbag is redundant"; tags[47]="A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate"; tags[48]="A cat can be caught in almost any trap once"; tags[49]="A closed mouth gathers no feet "; tags[50]="A closed mouth says nothing wrong... a closed mind does nothing right "; tags[51]="A day without sunshine is like night "; tags[52]="A feature is a bug with seniority "; tags[53]="A foot is a device for finding furniture in the dark "; tags[54]="A friend in need is a pest indeed "; tags[55]="A friend in power is a friend lost "; tags[56]="A friend likes you even though he doesn't need you anymore "; tags[57]="A furore normannorum libera nos domine "; tags[58]="A good angle to approach any problem is the try-angle "; tags[59]="A gun gives you the body, not the bird "; tags[60]="A kind word is like a spring day - Russian Proverb "; tags[61]="A mouse may be useful but only as cat food "; tags[62]="A naked man fears no pickpocket "; tags[63]="A pessimist complains about noise when opportunity knocks "; tags[64]="A program is used to turn data into error messages "; tags[65]="A programmer's work is never done "; tags[66]="A simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way "; tags[67]="A sin is two sins when it is defended - Henry Smith "; tags[68]="A single fact can spoil a good argument "; tags[69]="A social life? From what board can I download THAT? "; tags[70]="A truly wise person knows that he knows not "; tags[71]="Absolute zero freezes absolutly "; tags[72]="Academic rivalries are so intense because the stakes are so small "; tags[73]="Advice is a dangerous commodity "; tags[74]="After four decimal places, nobody gives a damn "; tags[75]="Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill "; tags[76]="Ah come on, just this one last little feature "; tags[77]="All extremists should be taken out and shot "; tags[78]="All great discoveries are made by mistake "; tags[79]="All in a days work for Confuse-a-Cat "; tags[80]="All people smile in the same language "; tags[81]="All play and no work is probably the best life possible "; tags[82]="All that glitters has a high refractive index "; tags[83]="All things are possible. Except skiing through a revolving door "; tags[84]="All true wisdom is found on T-shirts and taglines "; tags[85]="Always forgive your enemies. They -HATE- that! "; tags[86]="Among the porcupines, rape is unknown "; tags[87]="An optimist is a guy without much experience "; tags[88]="And God said: E = «mvı - Zeı/r, and there was light! "; tags[89]="And Speech and Long Life to you! "; tags[90]="Answers: $1 Correct Answers: $5 Dumb Looks: Free "; tags[91]="ANY KEY will initiate hard drive format. Continue? Y or N "; tags[92]="Anything you say will be misquoted & used against you "; tags[93]="Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key "; tags[94]="Appreciate me now - and avoid the rush "; tags[95]="Are subliminal messages effective? "; tags[96]="Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? "; tags[97]="Are you sure (N/N)? "; tags[98]="As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing "; tags[99]="As confused as a termite in a yo-yo "; tags[100]="As I said before, I NEVER repeat myself "; tags[101]="Ask others for help and be in debt forever! "; tags[102]="Astronauts get missile-toe "; tags[103]="At night, all cats are grey "; tags[104]="At the prompt, remove disk, stomp on it, then retry "; tags[105]="At Warp Factor 9, they all look green to me "; tags[106]="Avoid Computer virus - practice safe HEX! "; tags[107]="Baby Philosophy - If it stinks, change it "; tags[108]="Backup is for whimps! "; tags[109]="Bacteria acts more intelligent than human beings "; tags[110]="Bad command. Bad, bad command. Sit! Staay "; tags[111]="Bad Credit? No Credit? No Problem. No Money? Problem "; tags[112]="Bad is never good until worse happens "; tags[113]="Bald spot? No - solar panel for brain power "; tags[114]="Be part of the solution--not part of the problem "; tags[115]="Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers "; tags[116]="Beam me up, Scotty! There's no intelligent life here! "; tags[117]="Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... "; tags[118]="Beauty too rich for use; for Earth too dear "; tags[119]="Become a programmer and never see the world! "; tags[120]="Behind every argument is someone's ignorance "; tags[121]="Believe me... It's a hardware problem or a Virus "; tags[122]="Ben Kenobi at the dinner table: Use the FORKS, Luke! "; tags[123]="Bet you can't stop reading here <== I knew it... "; tags[124]="Beta-testers do it for free "; tags[125]="Better Living through CHEMISTRY "; tags[126]="Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love "; tags[127]="Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried "; tags[128]="Beware of geeks bearing .GIFs "; tags[129]="Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers "; tags[130]="Beware of what you ask of the Gods, for they may... "; tags[131]="Black holes are where God divided by zero "; tags[132]="Blessed are the pessimists; they make backups! "; tags[133]="Blow your mind... Smoke gunpowder "; tags[134]="Brain damage? No thanks, I already have some "; tags[135]="Brain n. (brAn'): Organ with which we think we think "; tags[136]="Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore... "; tags[137]="Breast size times I.Q. is constant "; tags[138]="But I thought YOU did the backups... "; tags[139]="But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered "; tags[140]="C:\WINDOWS>DEL *.* I feel better now! "; tags[141]="Caffeine - the ultimate debugging tool "; tags[142]="Can I upgrade my hard drive to a warp drive? "; tags[143]="Captain, a Klingon does NOT whistle while he works "; tags[144]="Captain, I need to kill someone - Worf "; tags[145]="Cat \kat'\ n. 1: A dog with an attitude problem "; tags[146]="Catatonic: feline medicinal drink "; tags[147]="Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse "; tags[148]="Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn't all bad "; tags[149]="Celibacy is not hereditary "; tags[150]="Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine "; tags[151]="Chemists have nice reactions "; tags[152]="Chemists never die - they just stop reacting "; tags[153]="Choose heaven for climate, hell for society "; tags[154]="COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out "; tags[155]="College don't make fools; they only develop them "; tags[156]="Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius "; tags[157]="Computer, blondes and jazz seldom go together -Riker "; tags[158]="Computers also eliminate spare time "; tags[159]="Computers can never replace human stupidity "; tags[160]="Computers run on faith, not electrons "; tags[161]="Confidence is the feeling you had before you knew better "; tags[162]="Confusion is the only true road to understanding "; tags[163]="Constants aren't; variables don't "; tags[164]="Could anybody tell me why? "; tags[165]="Courage is fear holding on a minute longer "; tags[166]="Cowards take hostages. Klingons do not "; tags[167]="Creativity: Not referenceing your sources "; tags[168]="Crime is merely politics without the excuses "; tags[169]="Dr. Crusher: Worf, have you seen Wesley? Worf: No, I haven't! "; tags[170]="Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long "; tags[171]="Dachshunds are really small crocodiles with fur "; tags[172]="Dammit Spock!! I said mind-meld! Not melt! "; tags[173]="Damn the documentation, full speed ahead! "; tags[174]="Danger! Human at keyboard! "; tags[175]="Dangerous Exercise: Jumping to Conclusions "; tags[176]="DEFINITION: Disassembler - An unattended five year old child "; tags[177]="Degeneration and evolution are not the same thing "; tags[178]="Devoted to the study of cat bathing as a martial art "; tags[179]="Difference between a hero and a coward is one step back "; tags[180]="Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail "; tags[181]="Distrust your first impressions; they are invariably too favorable "; tags[182]="Do molecular biologists wear designer genes? "; tags[183]="DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality "; tags[184]="Do not press any key to continue "; tags[185]="Dogs think they're human, but cats think they're god "; tags[186]="Doing nothing is tiring 'cause you can't take a break! "; tags[187]="Don't be a snob. Never lie when truth is more profitable "; tags[188]="Don't be so humble...you aren't that great "; tags[189]="Don't get married if you are afraid of solitude "; tags[190]="Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon "; tags[191]="Don't meddle in the affairs of Wizards... "; tags[192]="Don't take life seriously - you won't get out alive! "; tags[193]="Drive slower than your guardian angel can fly "; tags[194]="Due to lack of interest tomorrow is cancelled "; tags[195]="Dumb questions are better than smart mistakes "; tags[196]="Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jets "; tags[197]="Eat right, stay fit, die anyway "; tags[198]="Emotion vs logic? Emotion always wins "; tags[199]="Enter any 12-digit prime number to continue: "; tags[200]="Error in REALITY.SYS down, Run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)? "; tags[201]="Error:014-Nonexistent Error. This cannot be happening "; tags[202]="EtherNet: What you use to catch the Ether Bunny "; tags[203]="Even Programers need a bit of love "; tags[204]="Even the most faithful believer can serve a false god "; tags[205]="Ever lob a live grenade into a basket of kittens? "; tags[206]="Ever wanted to download pizza? "; tags[207]="Every Klingon hopes to die in the line of duty - Worf "; tags[208]="Everybody's death simplifies life for someone "; tags[209]="Everyone has the right to be ugly, but some abuse the privilege "; tags[210]="Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner "; tags[211]="Everything is just chemistry! "; tags[212]="Evolution: God's way of upgrading the hardware "; tags[213]="Excuse me, but isn't assassinating your professor technically heating?"; tags[214]="Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again "; tags[215]="Experience is directly proportional to ruined equipment "; tags[216]="Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it "; tags[217]="Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted "; tags[218]="Extinction is the ultimate fate of all species "; tags[219]="Extreme sorrow laughs; extreme joy weeps " tags[220]="f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng "; tags[221]="Fact. Stranger than any science fiction "; tags[222]="Facts are stubborn things "; tags[223]="Faint hearts never win in love nor sell life insurance "; tags[224]="Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment "; tags[225]="Famous last words: This is the safe way to do it... "; tags[226]="Fear is no great respecter of reason "; tags[227]="File not found. Del *.* and change directory? (Y/y) "; tags[228]="Fingers not found - Pound head on keyboard to continue "; tags[229]="First Rule of Holes: if you're in one, STOP DIGGING! "; tags[230]="For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe "; tags[231]="FOR SALE: Iraqi rifles. Never fired, dropped once "; tags[232]="For Sale: One parachute. Used once. Never opened. Small stain "; tags[233]="Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it "; tags[234]="Forget everything you just heard, and go back to sleep "; tags[235]="Forget patience! I'm gonna kill something... "; tags[236]="Friends may come and friends may go, but enemies accumulate "; tags[237]="From the committee to use professional politicians as lab animals! "; tags[238]="Funny, it worked when I had it plugged in "; tags[239]="General Stupidity Error reading drive A: "; tags[240]="Geologist - Fault finder "; tags[241]="Get too many irons in your fire and you'll put it out "; tags[242]="Give it to Riker, He'll eat anything! "; tags[243]="God is absolute. You are conditional "; tags[244]="God must love the common man; He made so many of them "; tags[245]="Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer "; tags[246]="Growl for me Worf, show me you still care - Q "; tags[247]="Guns don't kill. Fast-moving projectiles do "; tags[248]="Hail Eris! All hail Discordia! "; tags[249]="Happiness is a warm Phaser! "; tags[250]="Have a nice day unless you have other plans "; tags[251]="Have you clubbed an ignorant human today? "; tags[252]="He who laughs at a Klingon, never laughs again "; tags[253]="He who laughs last probably made a backup "; tags[254]="He's dead, Jim. Kick him if you don't believe me "; tags[255]="Health is simply the slowest way to die "; tags[256]="HELL (n): Backing up a 160 GB drive with 1.44MB floppies "; tags[257]="Hell of a way to travel, having a man's molecules spread across space "; tags[258]="Help stamp out vandalism, or I'll break all your windows "; tags[259]="Help stamp out, eliminate, and abolish redundancy! "; tags[260]="History has shown us that strength may be useless when faced with terrorism" ;tags[261]="Hold on boys, you can't all die at once " tags[262]="Honest ociffer, there's no blood in my alcohol content! "; tags[263]="Honor would best be served if you were to become my mate "; tags[264]="How can I fail when I have no purpose? "; tags[265]="How can I miss you if you don't go away? "; tags[266]="How could man have evolved from a species as organized as the apes? "; tags[267]="How do I set my Laser printer to Stun? "; tags[268]="How do you get cat hair out of a hard drive? "; tags[269]="How do you make Windows go faster? Throw it harder! "; tags[270]="How do you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune? "; tags[271]="How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise_my_hands... "; tags[272]="How to double your hard drive space: Delete Windows "; tags[273]="I am always exact and precise (more or less) "; tags[274]="I am free of prejudices. I hate everyone equally "; tags[275]="I am sweet and lovable at all times "; tags[276]="I can do anything, given the satisfaction that it's annoying someone"; tags[277]="I can resist everything except temptation"; tags[278]="I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse"; tags[279]="I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you"; tags[280]="I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables"; tags[281]="I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove it! "; tags[282]="I DO NOT repeat gossip... so I'm gonna say this once… "; tags[283]="I do not think you will accept my help, as I'm waiting to kill you "; tags[284]="I drank from the fountain of knowledge, you just gargled"; tags[285]="I fight evil wherever it may be! Except in dark, scary places..."; tags[286]="I had a life once...now I have a computer"; tags[287]="I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it"; tags[288]="I have a photographic memory but I'm out of film"; tags[289]="I have much to teach you about women - Worf "; tags[290]="I just escaped the twilight zone and fell into the 0zone "; tags[291]="I know the speed of light - what's the speed of dark? "; tags[292]="I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one "; tags[293]="I may not always be perfect, but i'm always me! "; tags[294]="I may not be perfect, but I am all I got! "; tags[295]="I need to be born AGAIN? No, *I* got it right the first time... "; tags[296]="I NEVER Read Taglines! Do You? "; tags[297]="I often daydream about my inability to fantasize "; tags[298]="I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person "; tags[299]="I still miss my wife - but my aim is improving! "; tags[300]="I swear, the cat was like that when I found it "; tags[301]="I th in k my Har d dis k is Fr agm ent ed ! ! "; tags[302]="I think ... therefore I am overqualified "; tags[303]="I think I shall now be sick "; tags[304]="I think, therefore I am single "; tags[305]="I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it "; tags[306]="I tried to drown my problems but they can swim! "; tags[307]="I tried to get a life, but they were out of stock "; tags[308]="I understand your concerns. Request denied "; tags[309]="I used to be disgusted; now I'm just amused "; tags[310]="I want to go on living, I want to see my life unfold "; tags[311]="I will fight to the death for your right to *my* opinion "; tags[312]="I wouldn't need another haircut if you'd done the job right the first time"; tags[313]="I wouldn't touch the metric system with a 3.048 meter pole! "; tags[314]="I'd love to but, I have to study for a blood test... "; tags[315]="I'm as confused as a baby at a topless bar "; tags[316]="I'm incredibly jealous, but still glad for you "; tags[317]="I'm not arrogant, I'm just better than you "; tags[318]="I'm not worthless! I can always serve as a bad example! "; tags[319]="I'm omniscient, omnipotent, and omnivorous "; tags[320]="I'm so environmental, I buy paper to recycle it "; tags[321]="I'm sorry, but if you want to argue, you'll have to pay the fee "; tags[322]="I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you're just a mirage "; tags[323]="I've fallen in love but can't remember her name "; tags[324]="I've seen suns that were freezing and lies that were true "; tags[325]="If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law"; tags[326]="If a = b and b = c, then we've got a messed up alphabet "; tags[327]="If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0! "; tags[328]="If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried "; tags[329]="If at first you don't succeed, redefine success "; tags[330]="If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you "; tags[331]="If at first you don't succeed, try the reset button "; tags[332]="If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft "; tags[333]="If at first you succeed, hide your astonishment "; tags[334]="If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane "; tags[335]="If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you "; tags[336]="If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway "; tags[337]="If it screams, it's not food yet "; tags[338]="If it stinks, it's chemistry "; tags[339]="If it walks out of the refrigerator, let it go! "; tags[340]="If it works, break it! "; tags[341]="If it works, rip it apart and find out why! "; tags[342]="If it's green or it wriggles, it's biology "; tags[343]="If it's obvious, it's obviously wrong "; tags[344]="If it's Tourist Season, why can't we shoot them? "; tags[345]="If sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong "; tags[346]="If the enemy is in range, so are you "; tags[347]="If there was an Ugly museum, you'd be the prize possession "; tags[348]="If there were no electricity, we'd all be Ohmless "; tags[349]="If we fear new experiences, our knowledge is secondhand "; tags[350]="If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are "; tags[351]="If you are feeling good, don't worry; you'll get over it "; tags[352]="If you butter a cat's back, what side would it land on? "; tags[353]="If you can read this, my cloaking device is on the fritz "; tags[354]="If you can't be careful, don't name it after me! "; tags[355]="If you can't be offensive WHY BOTHER? "; tags[356]="If you can't fix a bug - write it in the documentation as a feature "; tags[357]="If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead? "; tags[358]="If you can't make both ends meat, make one a vegetable "; tags[359]="If you can't tell fact from opinion, you belong in government "; tags[360]="If you cannot convince them, confuse them "; tags[361]="If you don't care where you are, then you can't get lost "; tags[362]="If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself! "; tags[363]="If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it "; tags[364]="If you're not the lead dog, everything looks the same! "; tags[365]="If you're too old to learn, you were born so "; tags[366]="If your mind goes blank, don't forget to turn off the sound "; tags[367]="In a nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal "; tags[368]="In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday "; tags[369]="Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF "; tags[370]="Infinity is irritating "; tags[371]="Interesting curves can be dangerous ones... "; tags[372]="Interrupt conflict, new mail found. Real life on hold "; tags[373]="It ain't brag if you can back it up "; tags[374]="It can't get wierd enough for me! "; tags[375]="It is better to copulate seldom rather than never "; tags[376]="It is easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission... "; tags[377]="It is meaningless to speak of domesticating a child "; tags[378]="It works better if you plug it in where it should be "; tags[379]="It's always darkest before you step on the cat "; tags[380]="It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole "; tags[381]="jIQub vaj jIwuQ (translation: I think, therefore I have a headache) "; tags[382]="KEYBOARD - An instrument used for entering errors into a computer "; tags[383]="Keyboard missing, press F1 to continue "; tags[384]="Klingon tagline: Strike any user when ready "; tags[385]="Klingons do not pursue relationships...they conquer them - Worf "; tags[386]="Lawyer: a cat who settles differences between mice "; tags[387]="Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all... "; tags[388]="Life is a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers "; tags[389]="Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards "; tags[390]="Life is too important to be taken seriously "; tags[391]="Life would be much simpler if we could just look at the source code "; tags[392]="LIFE:You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game"; tags[393]="Live long and prosper "; tags[394]="Look unimportant - The enemy may be low on ammo "; tags[395]="Lord, give me patience ... but give it to me NOW! "; tags[396]="Love is a sickness that slows down your career "; tags[397]="Love truth but pardon error "; tags[398]="Love your enemies - it makes them so damned mad "; tags[399]="M y H ar d Dr i ve i sn' t f ra g m ent ed !!! "; tags[400]="MacIntosh: Computer With Training Wheels You Can't Remove "; tags[401]="MACINTOSH: Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The OS Hangs! "; tags[402]="Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler "; tags[403]="Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely "; tags[404]="Man you're dying for what you've lost but never had "; tags[405]="Me hates peoples who don't use gooder English "; tags[406]="Me... A skeptic? I trust you have proof.... "; tags[407]="Measured with a micrometer. Marked with chalk. Cut with an axe "; tags[408]="Medicine: the art of amusing the ill while nature heals "; tags[409]="Men don't roar, women roar, and they hurl heavy objects "; tags[410]="Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay "; tags[411]="Minds, like parachutes, work best when open... "; tags[412]="MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine "; tags[413]="Most people deserve each other! "; tags[414]="Mr. Worf, fire at will. *>BZZZT<* Hey, where'd Riker go? "; tags[415]="My finger's on the button and you're in a very bad position - Jellico"; tags[416]="My karma ran over your dogma "; tags[417]="My life is still in beta testing "; tags[418]="Network management is like trying to herd cats... "; tags[419]="Never approach a Klingon when he's grumbling "; tags[420]="Never argue with a fool...people may not be able to tell you apart "; tags[421]="Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with "; tags[422]="Never do your enemy a minor injury "; tags[423]="Never explain;your friends don't need it;your enemies won't believe it"; tags[424]="Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder "; tags[425]="Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died "; tags[426]="Never judge a man by his taglines "; tags[427]="Never let your sense of morality stop you from doing what is right "; tags[428]="Never make the same mistake twice...there are so many new ones to make!"; tags[429]="Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely "; tags[430]="Never question your wife's judgement...look whom she married "; tags[431]="Never tell a lie, unless lying is your strongest point "; tags[432]="Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows "; tags[433]="Never trust a starfleet officer who has one of your relatives in jail"; tags[434]="Never trust anyone who speaks well of everyone "; tags[435]="Never try to outstubborn a cat. You won't do it "; tags[436]="Never, ever trust anyone under 30 or over 25 "; tags[437]="No occifer, I'm not under the akafluence of incohol "; tags[438]="Nothing a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster won't cure! "; tags[439]="Nothing fails like success. "; tags[440]="Nothing is foolproof; fools are so ingenious "; tags[441]="Nothing is very funny when you're underneath it "; tags[442]="O'Brien, beam a large pepperoni pizza to these coordinates "; tags[443]="Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most... "; tags[444]="Oh give me a phone, with a modem on loan.... "; tags[445]="OHM's Law: Resistance is NOT Futile! "; tags[446]="On a quiet night, you can hear a FORD rust! "; tags[447]="Once I thought I was wrong - but I was mistaken "; tags[448]="One of these days your 'puter will begin rebooting you "; tags[449]="Only a fool fights in a burning house - Klingon Proverb "; tags[450]="OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am "; tags[451]="Perhaps it should be I who dominates from now on * Data "; tags[452]="Phasers don't kill people...unless you set them too high "; tags[453]="Pi = 3 for large values of 3 and small values of pi "; tags[454]="Plan to be more spontaneous "; tags[455]="Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips "; tags[456]="Pornographic materials? I don't even have a pornograph! "; tags[457]="Powdered water -- just add ... hmmm ... "; tags[458]="Power Corrupts... Absolute Power is kind of neat! "; tags[459]="Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty "; tags[460]="Practice safe government... Use kingdoms! "; tags[461]="Predestination was doomed from the beginning "; tags[462]="Press all the keys at once to continue "; tags[463]="Press Ctrl- Alt- Shift- F12- Esc- Tab- PgDn- Home- Break- "; tags[464]="Professor: a textbook wired for sound "; tags[465]="Proofread carefully to see if you any words out "; tags[466]="Psychocheramics: The study of crackpots "; tags[467]="Puns are bad, but poetry is verse "; tags[468]="Radioactive halibut makes great fission chips! "; tags[469]="Real men don't set for stun "; tags[470]="Reality is for people who can't cope with me "; tags[471]="Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek "; tags[472]="Reality-ometer: [\........] Hmmph! Thought so... "; tags[473]="Red meat is GOOD for you. Fuzzy blue-green meat is BAD... "; tags[474]="Remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty? "; tags[475]="Romulan Ale: excellent drink and a great paint remover! "; tags[476]="Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer! "; tags[477]="Science does not remove the terror of the gods "; tags[478]="Self service tagline. Think of something funny "; tags[479]="Semiconductors: Part time musicians "; tags[480]="SEVERE MENTAL ERROR: low level brain format recommended (Y/N)? "; tags[481]="Sigh: An amplifier for people who suffer in silence "; tags[482]="Sin Tax? Since when is the government a religion? "; tags[483]="Smash forehead on keyboard to continue"; tags[484]="Smooth seas never made a good sailor"; tags[485]="So, where can someone practice with a phaser around here?"; tags[486]="Somehow I've always known that I'd never be psychic"; tags[487]="Sometimes it is enough to show teeth, but if you must bite, bite deep!"; tags[488]="Spring makes everything young again except humans"; tags[489]="Stand back! It's a Beta!"; tags[490]="Star Truck II: The Wrath of Nissan"; tags[491]="Strike any user with a bat to continue..."; tags[492]="Stupidity is NOT a handicap! PARK ELSEWHERE!"; tags[493]="Support the helpless victims of computers"; tags[494]="Sure, when… ...well, I'll be damned!"; tags[495]="Survival law -- If you don't kill them - They'll kill you"; tags[496]="Synonym: A word you use when you can't spell the other"; tags[497]="Take my advice, I don't use it anyway"; tags[498]="Taken as a whole, the universe is absurd"; tags[499]="Tears they flow but why am I crying, after all I'm not afraid of dying"; tags[500]="THAT tagline is true ---><--- THAT tagline is false"; tags[501]="That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner"; tags[502]="That was the stun setting. This is not..."; tags[503]="That wasn't telepathy, that was just common sense ..."; tags[504]="The best defense against logic is stupidity"; tags[505]="The best way to accelerate Windows is at -9.8 m/s^2."; tags[506]="The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut"; tags[507]="The Borg assimilated & all I got was this lousy T-shirt"; tags[508]="The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity"; tags[509]="The Four Food Groups: Caffine, Chocolate, Sugar and Sex"; tags[510]="The gods too, are fond of a joke"; tags[511]="The human spirit is a hard thing to kill, even with a chain saw"; tags[512]="The lab just called - your brain is ready"; tags[513]="The more complex the mind, the more the need for the simplicity of play"; tags[514]="The next Time Travel seminar will be held last week"; tags[515]="The saddest of words: I always wanted to but never did"; tags[516]="The same sun that melts the wax hardens the clay..."; tags[517]="The secret of happiness is stupid, short-term, self-interest"; tags[518]="The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again"; tags[519]="The two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity"; tags[520]="The weather is here, wish you were beautiful"; tags[521]="The world is coming to an end --- please log off now"; tags[522]="There IS intelligent life in the universe. It ignores us"; tags[523]="There is intelligent life on Earth, but we are just visiting"; tags[524]="There is much to be said for failure. It is more interesting than success"; tags[525]="There is no honor in boring an enemy to death"; tags[526]="There is no man so blind as he who will not see"; tags[527]="There is no power like firepower"; tags[528]="here's ALWAYS one more bug!"; tags[529]="There's nothing wrong with a good delusion - Quark"; tags[530]="There, that will do till a REAL explanation comes along"; tags[531]="Thermonuclear Warheads: Don't run, you'll only die tired"; tags[532]="They said, Get a life!. I got a computer instead"; tags[533]="They won't catch us, we're on a mission from God!"; tags[534]="Think carefully before wishing, it might just come true"; tags[535]="This our security officer Mr Worf. Would you like to beat him up?"; tags[536]="Those without heads do not need hats"; tags[537]="To boldly go where no man has gone before"; tags[538]="To err is Human. To blame someone else is politics"; tags[539]="To err is human. To purr feline"; tags[540]="To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa"; tags[541]="To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die"; tags[542]="To reformat a CD-ROM use steel wool and light pressure"; tags[543]="To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows..."; tags[544]="Took an hour to bury the cat, wouldn't hold still..."; tags[545]="Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym"; tags[546]="Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!"; tags[547]="Two people can live as cheaply as one, for half as long"; tags[548]="Two rights don't make a wrong, they make an airplane"; tags[549]="Typos? Blame my cat"; tags[550]="UNNAMED LAW: If it happens, it must be possible"; tags[551]="Vegetarians eat vegetables. Beware of humanitarians!"; tags[552]="Victim of a cranial/rectal inversion"; tags[553]="Volume in drive C: is TOO_LOUD"; tags[554]="WARNING ... drinking tap water can kill your thirst!"; tags[555]="Warning! Taking me seriously can be hazadous to your health"; tags[556]="We can defeat gravity. The problem is the paperwork involved"; tags[557]="We challenge you! Our armpits are stronger than yours! "; tags[558]="We demand peaceful relations or we'll blow up your planet"; tags[559]="We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl"; tags[560]="Well???? That's a hole in the ground. It even has water in it!"; tags[561]="Whales are mammals. Mammals have hair. SHAVE THE WHALES! "; tags[562]="What are you doing?!? The message is over, GO AWAY!"; tags[563]="What do you mean you 'formatted the cat'? "; tags[564]="What do you mean? You actually read this Tagline?!? "; tags[565]="What if there were no hypothetical questions? "; tags[566]="What is the air speed veloicty of an unladened swallow? "; tags[567]="What is the purpose of dreams...if they never become reality? "; tags[568]="What's the point of backstabbing if you can't twist the knife? "; tags[569]="WHAT? Take you to our leader? PLEASE take him with you! "; tags[570]="When all else fails, do it yourself "; tags[571]="When in doubt, duck "; tags[572]="When there is no danger in fighting, there is no glory in winning "; tags[573]="When will they ever learn? "; tags[574]="When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal "; tags[575]="When you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer? "; tags[576]="When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will "; tags[577]="When your logic fails, trust a hunch "; tags[578]="Wherever you go, there you are "; tags[579]="Which is worse: ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares? "; tags[580]="while(math_teacher() == talk) fall_asleep(); "; tags[581]="Who gives a damn about apathy? "; tags[582]="Why can't you be a non-conformist like everyone else? "; tags[583]="Why get even, when you can get odd? "; tags[584]="Windows is Irrelevent. It's existance is futile "; tags[585]="Windows isn't a virus. . . a virus does something "; tags[586]="Windows open: Jump? [Y/y/y] "; tags[587]="WINDOWS: An overpriced way to eat up HD space "; tags[588]="Without fools there would be no wisdom "; tags[589]="WOMAN.ZIP Great program...no documentation! "; tags[590]="Women are like fires; They go out if left unattended "; tags[591]="Women are like programs. A smart man keeps backups "; tags[592]="Women like silent men. They think they're listening "; tags[593]="Worf, I don't bite. Well that's wrong, I do bite "; tags[594]="Would you like to talk about it or do you want to break more furniture "; tags[595]="WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann?? "; tags[596]="You ASCII stupid question, you get stupid ANSI "; tags[597]="You can always find what you're not looking for "; tags[598]="You can never _really_ tell peoples emotions behind words "; tags[599]="You can't eat your friends and have them too "; tags[600]="You don't fool me!! You're not really an idiot! "; tags[601]="You mean you wanted it to WORK? "; tags[602]="You never know what you know! "; tags[603]="You're entitled to your opinion, even if it's wrong "; tags[604]="You're perfect, yes, it's true. But without me you're only you "; tags[605]="Your ambushes would be more successful if you bathed more often!"; tags[606]="Chief Wiggum: I hope this has taught you kids a lesson... kids never learn"; tags[607]="A man is never drunk if he can lie on the floor without help"; tags[608]="A clear conscience is just the result of bad memory"; tags[609]="Do people eat Spam voluntarily?"; tags[610]="Did you know that most people's lives are ruled by telephone numbers? "; tags[611]="Dual Quads: Beautiful woman who wears 44-DD bra!"; tags[612]="Famous Last Words #27: What are you doing over there?"; tags[613]="Intel Inside now serves as a warning label."; tags[614]="Never hit a man with glasses... hit him with your fist."; tags[615]="Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, but socially dead."; tags[616]="What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull."; tags[617]="Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks they can train Americans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish."; tags[618]="A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."; tags[619]="Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else."; tags[620]="What do you get if you cross an agnostic, an insomniac and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog."; tags[621]="Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. -- Murphy's laws on sex"; tags[622]="In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad move. -- The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy"; tags[623]="Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."; tags[624]="Heard the one about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa."; tags[625]="A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant."; tags[626]="Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."; tags[627]="Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. " ; tags[628]="Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore. " ; tags[629]="Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."; tags[630]="Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. " ; tags[631]="Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks " ; tags[632]="Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back. " ; tags[633]="Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! " ; tags[634]="C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. " ; tags[635]="Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. " ; tags[636]="Chocolate: the OTHER major food group. " ; tags[637]="Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. " ; tags[638]="Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines! " ; tags[639]="Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass? " ; tags[640]="Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy. " ; tags[641]="Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? " ; tags[642]="Death is hereditary. " ; tags[643]="Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? " ; tags[644]="Did anyone see my lost carrier? " ; tags[645]="Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick. " ; tags[646]="Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone. " ; tags[647]="Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. " ; tags[648]="Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. " ; tags[649]="Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. " ; tags[650]="Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. " ; tags[651]="Double your drive space. Delete Windows! " ; tags[652]="Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. " ; tags[653]="Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. " ; tags[654]="Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery. " ; tags[655]="Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue. " ; tags[656]="Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I. " ; tags[657]="Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? " ; tags[658]="Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. " ; tags[659]="Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. " ; tags[660]="Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. " ; tags[661]="Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. " ; tags[662]="For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. " ; tags[663]="For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. " ; tags[664]="Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. " ; tags[665]="Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. " ; tags[666]="Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate. " ; tags[667]="Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving. " ; tags[668]="Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told. " ; tags[669]="Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade! " ; tags[670]="Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day."; tags[671]="Give me ambiguity or give me something else. " ; tags[672]="Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. " ; tags[673]="Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. " ; tags[674]="He who laughs last thinks slowest. " ; tags[675]="Honk if you love peace and quiet. " ; tags[676]="Honk if you want to see my finger. " ; tags[677]="How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? " ; tags[678]="How does Teflon stick to the pan? " ; tags[679]="How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand. " ; tags[680]="I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. " ; tags[681]="I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. " ; tags[682]="I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. " ; tags[683]="I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. " ; tags[684]="I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. " ; tags[685]="I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. " ; tags[686]="I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. " ; tags[687]="I need someone really bad. Are you really bad? " ; tags[688]="I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. " ; tags[689]="I took an IQ test and the results were negative. " ; tags[690]="I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. " ; tags[691]="I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. " ; tags[692]="I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke. " ; tags[693]="I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. " ; tags[694]="I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it. " ; tags[695]="I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. " ; tags[696]="I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. " ; tags[697]="I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! " ; tags[698]="I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. " ; tags[699]="If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. " ; tags[700]="If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. " ; tags[701]="If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? " ; tags[702]="If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. " ; tags[703]="If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! " ; tags[704]="If you can't convince them, confuse them. " ; tags[705]="If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? " ; tags[706]="If you get to it and you can't do it, well there you jolly well are, aren't you. " ; tags[707]="If you haven't much education you must use your brain. " ; tags[708]="If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it. " ; tags[709]="If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. " ; tags[710]="If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. " ; tags[711]="IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. " ; tags[712]="It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. " ; tags[713]="It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. " ; tags[714]="It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. " ; tags[715]="It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. "; tags[716]="It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. " ; tags[717]="Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician. " ; tags[718]="Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. " ; tags[719]="Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them. " ; tags[720]="Keep honking. I'm reloading. " ; tags[721]="Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. " ; tags[722]="Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control. " ; tags[723]="Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. " ; tags[724]="Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. " ; tags[725]="Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. " ; tags[726]="Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. " ; tags[727]="Montana: At least our cows are sane! " ; tags[728]="More hay, Trigger? No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed! " ; tags[729]="Multitasking means screwing up several things at once. " ; tags[730]="My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom. " ; tags[731]="My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states. " ; tags[732]="Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. " ; tags[733]="Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. " ; tags[734]="Never mess up an apology with an excuse. " ; tags[735]="Never miss a good chance to shut up. " ; tags[736]="Never test the depth of the water with both feet. " ; tags[737]="Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. " ; tags[738]="No one is listening until you make a mistake. " ; tags[739]="Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW! " ; tags[740]="Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check? " ; tags[741]="On the other hand, you have different fingers. " ; tags[742]="Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector. " ; tags[743]="Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. " ; tags[744]="Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. " ; tags[745]="Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow. " ; tags[746]="Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have. " ; tags[747]="Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. " ; tags[748]="Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. " ; tags[749]="Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader. " ; tags[750]="Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. " ; tags[751]="Remember half the people you know are below average. " ; tags[752]="Save the whales. Collect the whole set " ; tags[753]="Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date! " ; tags[754]="Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. " ; tags[755]="Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. " ; tags[756]="Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. " ; tags[757]="Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. " ; tags[758]="Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield. " ; tags[759]="Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle. " ; tags[760]="Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. " ; tags[761]="Success always occurs in private and failure in full view. " ; tags[762]="Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! " ; tags[763]="Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. " ; tags[764]="The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing. " ; tags[765]="The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it. " ; tags[766]="The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. " ; tags[767]="The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread. " ; tags[768]="The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire. " ; tags[769]="The more you complain, the longer God makes you live. " ; tags[770]="The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. " ; tags[771]="The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. " ; tags[772]="The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. " ; tags[773]="The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER " ; tags[774]="The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it. " ; tags[775]="The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. " ; tags[776]="The shortest distance between two points is under construction. " ; tags[777]="The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. " ; tags[778]="The universe is a figment of its own imagination. There's no future in time travel. " ; tags[779]="There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. " ; tags[780]="There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. " ; tags[781]="There's too much blood in my caffeine system. " ; tags[782]="Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. " ; tags[783]="Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students. " ; tags[784]="Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. " ; tags[785]="Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. " ; tags[786]="To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. " ; tags[787]="To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. " ; tags[788]="Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes. " ; tags[789]="Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship. " ; tags[790]="Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear. " ; tags[791]="We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart? " ; tags[792]="We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse. " ; tags[793]="Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! " ; tags[794]="What happens if you get scared half to death twice? " ; tags[795]="What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? " ; tags[796]="What's the speed of dark? " ; tags[797]="When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way. " ; tags[798]="When there's a will, I want to be in it. " ; tags[799]="When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly. " ; tags[800]="Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? " ; tags[801]="Who stopped payment on my reality check? " ; tags[802]="Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? " ; tags[803]="Why is abbreviation such a long word? " ; tags[804]="Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? " ; tags[805]="Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. " ; tags[806]="You are depriving some poor village of its idiot. " ; tags[807]="You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word. " ; tags[808]="You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. " ; tags[809]="You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! " ; tags[810]="Your gene pool could use a little chlorine. " ; tags[811]="Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. " ; tags[812]="I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. " ; tags[813]="A hard-on does not count as personal growth. " ; tags[814]="This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. " ; tags[815]="Do I look like a fricking people person? " ; tags[816]="I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. " ; tags[817]="If I throw a stick, will you leave? " ; tags[818]="If I want to hear the patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat. " ; tags[819]="Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? " ; tags[820]="See no evil, hear no evil, and date no evil. " ; tags[821]="Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. " ; tags[822]="What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. " ; tags[823]="I am doing my best to imagine you with a personality. " ; tags[824]="Okay, okay I take it back. Un-Fuck you! " ; tags[825]="Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. " ; tags[826]="Too many freaks, not enough circuses. " ; tags[827]="And which dwarf are you? " ; tags[828]="How do I set a laser printer to stun? " ; tags[829]="It's not the size that counts, it's the, umm, actually it is the size. " ; r=parseInt((Math.random()*830)+1) var text=" # "+r+" = "+ tags[r] document.write(text)